The Dad Code | 001

Mike Ratnofsky • May 1, 2025

Effort Is the One Rule

When my sons started playing sports, I made the rule clear from day one.

It didn’t matter how many goals they scored.

It didn’t matter how many shots they made.

It didn’t matter if they missed tackles — or even if they won or lost the game.

I told them this:

The only thing I care about is the effort you give.

Not because trophies don't matter.

Not because outcomes aren’t real.

But because effort is the one thing you fully control — every time you step on the field, the court, or into life.

Giving full effort shows respect:

To yourself.
To your teammates.
To your coaches.
To your family.
To your future.

When you give everything you've got — even on the bad days — you’re building something inside yourself that no scoreboard can measure.

The Lesson: Effort Is Earned. Standards Are Real.

In our house, there’s a consequence when effort isn’t given: you run hills.

Not because I want to punish them.
Because I love them.
Because I want them to feel the weight of what they control — and know that effort is a choice they own.

It’s not about losing a game.
It’s about losing focus.
It’s about missing the opportunity to give everything you have.

Effort is the standard.

And when you fall below the standard — you don't get a free pass.
You do the work to earn your way back to it.

Running hills isn’t about conditioning.
It’s about accountability.
It’s about love.
It’s about building a standard that lasts long after the scoreboard lights turn off.

The Science Behind It:

Angela Duckworth’s research on grit found that long-term effort beats short-term talent at every level of achievement — from elite athletes to business leaders to students.

Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset studies show that when kids and adults focus on effort over outcomes, they build resilience, motivation, and stronger long-term success.

Effort focus = internal drive.
Outcome obsession = fragile confidence.

When you teach effort as the standard — and hold the line on it — you’re building men/leaders, not just athletes.

Your Challenge:

Before you go to bed tonight, take two minutes and write down or reflect on: